AOL - Anti On-Line
APPLE Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity
BASIC Bill's Attempt to Seize Industry Control
CD-ROM Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months
COBOL Completely Obsolete Business Oriented Language
COMPUTER Capable Of Making Perfectly Uncomplicated Tasks Extremely Rigorous
DOS Defunct Operating System
IBM I Blame Microsoft
IBM I Bought Macintosh
ISDN It Still Does Nothing
LISP Lots of Infuriating & Silly Parentheses
LOTUS Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious
MACINTOSH Most Applications Crash, If Not The Operating System Hangs
MCSE Minesweeper Consultant & Solitaire Expert
MCSE Must Consult Someone Experienced
MCSE Making Computers Slow Everyday
MICROSOFT Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools Teenagers
MIPS Mistakes Incurred Per Second
MIPS Meaningless Indication of Processor Speed
NASCAR Non-Athletic Sport Centered Around Rednecks
NTSC Never The Same Color
OS/2 Obsolete Soon Too
PASCAL Pedantry And Strictness Created A Language
PCMCIA People Can't Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms
PENTIUM Produces Erroneous Numbers Thru Incorrect Understanding of Mathematics
POTS Plain Old Telephone System
RISC Reduced Into Silly Code
SCSI System Can't See It
SCSI-2 System Can't See It Again
SNMP Security Not My Problem
WINDOWS Wonderful Interface No Dos User Would Sanction
WINDOWS Will Install Needless Data On Whole System