My love life is terrible. The last time I was inside a woman was when I visited the Statue of Liberty.
Love is the answer - but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty interesting questions.
I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.
Is sex dirty? Only if it's done right.
That [sex] was the most fun I ever had without laughing.
Don't knock masturbation, it's sex with someone I love.
Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go, it's one of the best.
I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.
The only time my wife and I had a simultaneous orgasm was when the judge signed the divorce papers.
Eternal nothingness is OK if you're dressed for it.
If you want to make God laugh, tell him your future plans.
I'm short enough and ugly enough to succeed on my own.
My brain - it's my second favorite organ.
My problems all started with my early education. I went to a school for mentally disturbed teachers.
If you don't fail now and again, it's a sign you're playing it safe.
The good people sleep much better at night than the bad people. Of course, the bad people enjoy the waking hours much more.
94.5% of all statistics are made up.