1)Brother wanted
A small boy wrote to Santa Claus, "send me a brother.."
Santa wrote back, "SEND ME YOUR MOTHER'..... .
2)Confident vs. confidential
A young boy asks his Dad, 'What is the difference between confident and confidential? '
Dad says, 'You are my son, I'm confident about that. Your friend over there, is also my son, that's confidential! '
3)Losing all your friends
Man comes home, finds his wife with his friend in bed.
He shoots his friend and kills him.
Wife says 'If you continue to behave like this, you're going to lose ALL your friends.'
4)Anger management?
Hu*****and: 'When I get mad at you, you never fight back. How do you control your anger?'
Wife: 'I clean the toilet.'
Hu*****and: 'How does that help?'
Wife: 'I use your toothbrush
5)Meaning of WIFE Hu*****and asks, 'Do you know the meaning of WIFE? It means 'Without Information Fighting Everyday'!'
Wife replies, 'No, it means 'With Idiot For Ever'!!!'