Self Cultivation 雪晶2021-11-30 03:51:21
As promised before, all in English this time~~~ 
Eight years ago, I was deeply depressed but unable to save myself. I got a chance to come to Tai Ji Men by chance. The moment I first met Tai Ji Men, I was deeply moved. My heart was roared by the white Tai Ji Men world, desperate to seek the happiness from what I saw in Tai Ji Men and joined Tai Ji Men right away.
After more than eight years of perseverance, I still refuse to give up, because I know that this pure place of practice is my strong back bone and the support of my spirit. Tai Ji Men is a place for self-cultivation. When I first started, I knew our rule included not to talk about politics, religions, or business, but just a place to cultivate our body, let me felt a simple joy in my heart.
Over the years, I have learned how to be myself in Tai Ji Men. I first learned that I must love myself by all means. After I have the ability to love myself, I start to have spare time to love others, people around me, and the world. This skill has benefited me a lot. I have always thought that loving myself is a shameful selfish act before. I always keep my eyes on the people around me, hoping they can become themselves according to my wishes. I worked hard to make my two daughters learning a lot of extra classes but becoming burdens for them according to what I thought, and helped them to enroll in all the extracurricular talent classes that they could study, by then I was exhausted with them both physically and mentally. I resent them for not working hard, and they complained me that I made them having no spare time. Until I realized that children only came to this world through us, the task we have should be just took care of them and made them becoming themselves. Only then did I understand that children are completely independent individuals, and I should just accompany them to grow up. This time, I got rid of my anxiety, who they become after are entirely their own choices. All I can do is help them to realize what they wanted to be.
Shifu taught us to accept ourselves, tell ourselves that we are the best, and that we are the only ones that no one can replace. I just started to look at my inside heart, what exactly I need, my eyes are no longer staring at people, just staring at myself. On a few occasions, when I listened to Shifu’s teachings, I burst into tears, but I didn’t know what it was for. I just couldn’t stop crying, probably because I was comforted inside my heart. I finally became a brave person myself, no longer afraid of things, I no longer dodge what I should face.
Over the years, following Shifu, I have also done some good deeds to promote love and peace. Shifu took his disciples to meet with leaders of various countries around the world, promoting the world as one family, and carrying out a conscience movement. Shifu takes us, takes the peace bell, invites influential people to ring the peace bell, and holds a bell ringing ceremony, so that the moment the bell rings, the leaders will bring peace to the world and stop evil also promote good. This world could be more beautiful. I have followed Shifu and have been to New York several times. I have participated in the UN conferences related to the International Day of Conscience on April 5th every year. I really can’t believe that I can also contribute to the peace of this world.