The world in a puddle
A puddle
tiny and shiny
in the sun
in the middle of a muddy trail
A puddle
passed by hikers
who rush towards the snow-painted peak
countless steps
countless splashes
A puddle
halts an exhausted hiker
He kneels, bends, and stares at the puddle
In his eyes, young meadow
aged forest
graphite mount
and its white crown
shining in the infinite azure of sky
inspiration © 9 days ago
Like (9)
Picked on August 19
Likes: Sand Singer, Simon Hosken, kaye, Oméga.á.m., Illegal Love, S. Sharpe, Dpcsoup, Malenny, Jessica Bush
Oméga.á.m. - Very vivid and beautiful poetry composition
6 days ago
Dpcsoup - Great imagery and brevity, thanks for sharing.
6 days ago
Illegal Love - Awe this is a cute poem.
Amazing
6 days ago
Malenny - love this!
7 days ago
Simon Hosken - Not only is this first rate - but the sort of poem I would like to have written - my only qualm (forgive!) is that 1 or 2 of the lines are unnecessary or that the poem could have been a little tighter - but without doubt - what can I say
9 days ago
xxx - Thank you, Simon, your encouraging words and sincere feedback, could you specify which lines are undesirable? Thanks in advance
Simon Hosken - It's hard to say which lines are undesirable, but if you will allow, I understand your history. You are writing in the style of the ancients when your country were the greatest in the world. The only difference between this poem and one of theirs is, not so much the use of cliche - the snow-covered mountain - but, essentially - it may sound stupid - but there are too many words. If I were to offer advice, rather than be specific about which words, I would beg you to think of your pieces as shining, sharp diamonds onto which, unfortunately, you have poured a little oil.
8 days ago
xxx - Really appreciate your insightful feedback, i need to think hard to remove the grease, very likely true i subconsiously follow the ancient, somewhat being lazy. Thanks Simon!
S. Sharpe - nice both on attentiveness and reflection of the beauty in anything and everything
9 days ago