Life on H1B (a program)
Today I found my frustration transform into creativity.. so I've created this program (instead of doing some actual wrork) for you to enjoy!
Life of an American
========================================
live(){
while(1){
work();
money = earn();
enjoy(money - taxes + government_benefits);
}
}
Life of H1B Worker:
========================================
live(){
visa = getVisa();
while(1){
if(visa == valid){
work();
money = earn();
money = money - send_some_home - save_some - taxes
- visa_expenses - travel_expenses; /// - immigration_voice_contributions; :)
if(money > 0){
if(PD == CURRENT && talented_spouse_not_on_H4){
enjoy(money);
}
else{
spend(money);
suffer();
}
}
}
if(you_want_to_travel){
stamping();
}
if(isVisaGoingToExpire()){
if(renew(visa) == failed)
goto the_end;
}
if(laid_off)
goto the_end;
}
the_end:
pack_your_bags();
go_home();
}
sub enjoy(){
buy_a_house(money);
buy_a_new_car(money);
go_on_a_vacation();
jump_jobs_like_a_kangaroo_or_start_your_own_compan y();
get_promotions();
}
sub suffer(){
no_raise();
no_hope_for_promotion();
let_them_exploit_you();
cant_do_long_term_planning();
watch_others_progress();
predict_visa_bulletines();
check_visa_bulletines();
check_immigration_voice_dot_com_every_day();
blame_everybody_except_yourself();
}
sub renew(){
if(visa.age > 6){
if(aproved_I140){
visa_expiration_date += three_years;
}
else if(approved_labor){
visa_expiration_date += one_year;
}
else
return failed;
}
return passed;
}
sub stamping(){
go_home();
wait_in_line(hours);
talk_to_snobs_at_the_embassy();
show_same_documents_thousands_of_times();
return;
}