忒忒绿2022-02-06 14:35:39

前言:林木教授为大家介绍并翻译了博尔赫斯的《两首英文诗》,非常精彩,引起影云等众诗歌爱好者的热烈讨论。非常欣赏影云的译文,也很精彩。我也非常喜欢这两首诗歌,感觉是林木的风格,是失恋的林木:)向众位学习之余,我跟风试译了一下,权作讨论之用。谢谢林木和影云等友友们,并盼请多提宝贵意见:)

 

TWO ENGLISH POEMS by Jorge Luis Borges (1934)

《两首英文诗》
作者:豪尔赫·路易斯·博尔赫斯 (1934)

博尔赫斯《两首英文诗》试译 (忒绿)

1.

The useless dawn finds me in a deserted street corner; I have outlived the night.
毫无意义的黎明在荒凉的街角找到我; 我已经活过了这一夜。

Nights are proud waves: dark blue top heavy waves laden with all hues of deep spoil, laden with things unlikely and desirable.
夜晚是骄傲的海浪:深蓝色的浪头充满了形形色色深层的毁灭,充满了难以想象的又令人向往的事物。

Nights have a habit of mysterious gifts and refusals, of things half given away, half withheld, of joys with a dark hemisphere. Nights act that way, I tell you.
夜晚习惯分发神秘礼物和予以拒绝,习惯给一半留一半,习惯与黑暗的半球同乐。我告诉你,夜晚就是这样。

The surge, that night, left me the customary shreds and odd ends: some hated friends to chat with, music for dreams, and the smoking of bitter ashes. The things my hungry heart has no use for.
在那天晚上,这股浪潮习惯性地让我混乱不堪:聊天的心怀仇恨的朋友,充满梦幻的音乐,还有苦涩的灰烬冒出的青烟。 都是些对我饥渴的心毫无用处的东西。

The big wave brought you.
大浪把你带来。

Words, any words, your laughter; and you so lazily and incessantly beautiful. We talked and you have forgotten the words.
言语,任何言语,你的笑声; 还有你慵懒而散发着美丽。 我们交谈过,可你忘记了我们说过的话。

The shattering dawn finds me in a deserted street of my city.
散落的黎明在我城市的一条荒凉的街道上找到了我。

Your profile turned away, the sounds that go to make your name, the lilt of your laughter: these are the illustrious toys you have left me.
你转过身去的样子,你令人入迷的声音,你轻快的笑声:都是你留给我的辉煌的玩具。

I turn them over in the dawn, I lose them; I tell them to the few stray dogs and to the few stray stars of the dawn.
在黎明,我反复思索着它们,我正失去它们; 我把它们说给晨曦里的几条流浪狗和几颗流浪的星星们听。

Your dark rich life…
你阴暗富足的生活…

I must get at you, somehow: I put away those illustrious toys you have left me, I want your hidden look, your real smile –that lonely, mocking smile your mirror knows.
我必须想办法见到你:我收起你留给我的那些辉煌的玩具,我想要你隐藏的表情,你真正的微笑——你的镜子知道的充满孤独与嘲弄的微笑。

2.

我用什么留住你?

我为你提供狭窄的街道,绝望的日落,锯齿状郊区的月亮。

我向你献上一个久久凝望孤月的人的苦涩。

我向你献上我的祖先,那些逝去的男人,活人用大理石纪念的幽灵们:我父亲的父亲在布宜诺斯艾利斯边境被杀,两颗子弹穿过他的肺,留着胡须,死了,被他的士兵裹在一块牛皮革里;我母亲的祖父 - 只有二十四岁 - 在秘鲁率领三百人冲锋,现在是消失的马背上的鬼魂。

我向你提供我的书可能包含的任何见解。 无论我的生活是否有什么男子气概或幽默。

我向你献上一个从未忠诚过的人的忠诚。

我向你献上我努力守护的内核 - 不懂花言巧语,未被梦想所累,也未被岁月、快乐和不幸触碰过的,我的内心。

我向你献上在你出生前几年在日落时分看到的一朵黄玫瑰的记忆。

我为你提供关于你自己的解释、关于你自己的理论、关于你自己的真实而令人惊讶的消息。

我可以给你我的寂寞、我的黑暗,我内心的饥渴;我正在尽力用易变、危险和失败来收买你。

2

What can I hold you with?

I offer you lean streets, desperate sunsets, the moon of the jagged suburbs.

I offer you the bitterness of a man who has looked long and long at the lonely moon.

I offer you my ancestors, my dead men, the ghosts that living men have honoured in marble: my father's father killed in the frontier of Buenos Aires, two bullets through his lungs, bearded and dead, wrapped by his soldiers in the hide of a cow; my mother's grandfather -just twenty four- heading a charge of three hundred men in Perú, now ghosts on vanished horses.

I offer you whatever insight my books may hold. whatever manliness or humour my life.

I offer you the loyalty of a man who has never been loyal.

I offer you that kernel of myself that I have saved somehow -the central heart that deals not in words, traffics not with dreams and is untouched by time, by joy, by adversities.

I offer you the memory of a yellow rose seen at sunset, years before you were born.

I offer you explanations of yourself, theories about yourself, authentic and surprising news of yourself.

I can give you my loneliness, my darkness, the hunger of my heart; I am trying to bribe you with uncertainty, with danger, with defeat.







 

 

 


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snowandlotus2022-02-06 16:14:55
赞!把原诗的韵味翻出来了
忒忒绿2022-02-06 16:32:00
雪莲早安:)谢谢用心理解,真好!
忒忒绿2022-02-06 16:36:00
作者似乎对黎明不感冒,说过两次,ueseless 和shattering,本意是无用的和破碎的,译时需考虑整体文风和作者的心思
忒忒绿2022-02-06 16:39:00
你指出的都是几个翻译难点:对词汇的正确理解和词义选择。涉及几个惯用语词组的把握:adds and ends,get at …
忒忒绿2022-02-06 16:46:00
sounds that go to make your name本意是让你成名的声音。看来作者爱上了可能是个年轻名歌手,声音优美
忒忒绿2022-02-06 16:49:00
感谢雪莲的精彩赏评,周末愉快:)
snowandlotus2022-02-06 17:12:26
翻译是个烧脑的活。绿诗人周末愉快:)
忒忒绿2022-02-06 17:22:00
多谢,也祝周末开心:)
LinMu2022-02-06 20:40:58
大赞,好译,失恋味更浓了
忒忒绿2022-02-06 20:58:00
木好,感觉是你诗风:)
忒忒绿2022-02-06 21:00:00
是不是一个颓废的诗人爱上了一个年轻漂亮的女歌手,瞎猜,嘎嘎;)
LinMu2022-02-06 22:55:37
呵呵,是《只此青绿》里的舞蹈演员
LinMu2022-02-06 22:56:28
我在认真拜读雪莲的翻译
影云2022-02-07 04:46:11
谢谢绿绿的鼓励。你的翻译里把"the night" , "nights", "that night"给区分出来就很好。这首诗歌比
影云2022-02-07 04:47:20
第二首要难翻很多。我试了会儿就放弃了。
忒忒绿2022-02-07 05:07:00
影云好:)从你的翻译中学习不少
忒忒绿2022-02-09 19:43:00
get at 得到,找到,见到,领悟。最后用了见到:)